When was the last time you confidently followed a unique belief?

One that prompted you to make an unusual decision, even though it wasn’t entirely backed by facts or hard truths? A decision that went against what everyone else was suggesting, but you fiercely defended anyway?

These moments don’t happen very often.

Because many of the beliefs we adopt aren’t truly yours anyway.

There's this point in one’s life when you start to wonder: which beliefs are truly mine? Which ones did I just adopt because everyone else was doing them? For me, this point, was about 10 years ago.

I wrestled with the idea that many people seemed to take the same decisions, believed the same things, but couldn’t explain why. Including myself.

Why are so many people looking for validation on social media, when one could just be themself regardless of the opinion of others? Why are so many people treating college like a burden, while it is, in fact, an incredible opportunity to network and kick-start your career?

These honest questions inspired me to take a closer look at some of the most common beliefs I saw out in the world. And yet, I still couldn't quite figure out which beliefs were truly mine. Or which ones I just adopt because everyone else had them.

This story took a turn in 2018.

I was attending a college, second year of my advertising degree. Suddenly, the entire class got an email. An invitation to “ad night” - an event that facilitated one on one speed-dates between students and creative directors of Belgium’s biggest ad agencies.

This felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity.

“Be quick”, the email said, “only 10 spots available”. “And while you’re at it, please include a short motivational letter describing some good reasons to pick you.” I applied within hours of reading the email, wrote the letter and spent the next days stressing on whether I made the selection or not.

My enthusiasm wasn't shared among other students. After talking to a few classmates, I quickly realised that no one was really interested. It made sense, because most students believe that school activities are just must-do's. If they're not mandatory, they probably aren't important anyway. And I get why. You already spend so much time completing group assignments and studying. Why give up some of your free time to go to yet another event?

My belief, however, was different. Talking to creative directors is an incredible opportunity to expand my personal network. Having a good network is important.

A few days later, I accidentally bumped into the principal. “And”, I curiously asked, “did I make the cut?”. She went silent for a moment. “You were the only one to reply”, she said. Even though there wasn’t too much interest, I was surprised. The only one?

I went to the ad night alone.

Pitched my video production studio to a 5-ish creative directors. This caught a few of the them off-guard because they were expecting student portfolios.

A couple of weeks later, I received an email from an account manager of one of Belgium’s largest international ad agencies. With warm regards from the creative director, she requested a quote for a couple of videos for large beverage company.

It worked. We ended up working for The Coca Cola Company twice.

We have a big problem

The ad night experience kept lingering in the back of my head for a long time.

Why did no one else sign up? Did I see something no one else saw? Did everyone forget to check their mailbox? Was I weird?

The answer is probably a combination of the above. But at its core, I came to the conclusion I was just doing whatever I believed I should do. Going there alone wasn't the most popular move. It most certainly wasn't shared among my peers.

Following this unique belief got me noticed by accident.

Beliefs are like a compass. One that helps you take action in a certain direction. And while it doesn't exactly dictate how to get somewhere - it gives you a general direction.

Follow beliefs blindly and your compass will guide you to the average.

Develop unique beliefs - beliefs that are a bit contrarian by nature and that have been shaped through your own experience, and your compass will lead you to places that few people go.

Back to the ad night.

While others believe opportunities would come later, I believe in creating them now. While others believe events like these are just another activity, I believe in the power of a strong network. While others believe in doing the bare minimum, I believe in going the extra mile.

This is not meant to be a jab. I’m not forcing you to share these beliefs.

But the moment the ad agency reached out to collaborate, I knew that following this unique belief had potential to pay off. It helped me get noticed and opened locked doors because of it. Being a bit different sometimes can go a long way.

There are too many distractions

Today, it feels harder than ever to discover and trust these unique beliefs.

We’re being bombarded by opinions, entertainment and information through social media. The external influence on our self-worth, emotions, decisions and opinions is so ubiquitous that it’s impossible to avoid. Social media is partly to blame.

By spending hours per day consuming the ideas, information and beliefs of others, we’re quietly taking away the mental space required to develop our own. We have become too distracted consuming what others made. So distracted, sometimes, that we forget to create something ourselves.

For example:

  • Many people are using AI to outsource their thinking, putting their opinions and beliefs into the hands of a machine developed to spit out average ideas
  • Many people are addicted to social media, consuming hundreds of ideas daily, numbing their brains and literally re-wiring dopamine cycles to reward self-destructing habits
  • Many people blindly follow gurus who pretend to have all the answers wrapped in controversial frameworks that sound compelling but are not to be questioned

Humanity has spent all of its existence passing on wisdom from one generation to the other. It isn’t inherently bad.

But…

The scale in which ideas are marketed today is astronomical. There’s no escape. Algorithms have become much better at manipulation. We now have data. Social media is permanently influencing our thoughts: what we wear, what we think, what we believe, without us even noticing.

To a certain extent - that’s inevitable. We aren’t supposed to live in perfectly isolated bubbles. But there has to be a balance. A balance between beliefs that we adopt and those that are truly unique. And that balance might be broken.

Too many people are being tricked into believing that the only way of starting a successful business is by following a rigid 7-step framework. Or made to believe that making 10k/month is the only metric of success. Or that practicing affirmations in the mirror, manifesting ideas into reality or ice baths are the simple hack to achieve success.

Don't get me wrong. I too promote principles and ideas that worked for me. But let me be honest about one thing. What worked for me, might not work for you. I urge you to think critically, as it is the implied rigid nature of these frameworks that prevent you from forming unique ideas in the first place.

It has become too easy to consume these ideas and forget to adapt them to our personal situation. There are simply too many of them.

The only way to truly figure out if a belief is truly yours is through hard experience. Rigid frameworks and blindly adopting common beliefs prevent this experience. They actively distract you from giving yourself the mental room required to implement the belief in a way that works for you.

These are some tricks that helped me:

  • Limit your time spent on social media. Use it as a source inspiration, but experiment with what you learned and decide if it truly works for you.
  • Use AI to challenge your ideas, not feed them to you. Ask AI to reply with questions instead of answers. This will motivate you to think critically.
  • Critically challenge extreme morning routines or 7-step frameworks before adopting them. Treat them as ideas with potential. Not the truth.

They might work for you too. Or not.

That's for you to experience.

How to develop unique beliefs

Unique beliefs have another advantage. They shape the way other see you.

It's the differentiator that sets you apart from everyone else. They have the power to get you noticed and, subsequently, create new opportunities.

For me, there's one sustainable way to develop these unique ideas. And that is through actual experience. Not by making them up in your head, without lived experience, just for the sake of being noticed.

Don’t wait to find these unique beliefs to take action. Take action so that you may discover these unique beliefs.

This is why I so strongly oppose the idea of blindly following the lifestyle or advice of online gurus and lifestyle influencers. Including these writings. It’s not that their advice can’t be useful. It’s just that these influencers rarely show the full picture required to truly adopt their lifestyle as-is.

They show the parts that are exciting, contagious and inspirational. They wrap experiences in excellent stories that make them sound compelling. And even though their advice may contain an important truth, they often lack an honest insight into the the hardships and downsides that came with it.

You are not them. You're in your own unique situation, you have other talents and hardships. You don’t have the exact same lived experiences as the person teaching you. What worked for them, might simply not work for you.

There is no silver bullet.

Therefore, one effective way to develop unique beliefs is to simply be honest with yourself. Trust your gut when it is telling you that this rigid routine, 7-step framework or common belief doesn't work for you. Try them, but don't be afraid to adapt them to your own unique situation. Sounds contradictory?

This isn't an or/or situation. It's an and/and.

  • Consume ideas of others AND test them out for yourself
  • Learn from other people's situation AND adapt it to your own

Think critically when new beliefs get presented. Not because they are all bad. But because they might need some adjustments to work for you.

The only way to find out is through experience.

Hunt rare experiences

At last, why would you care about finding these unique beliefs in the first place?

Why not just follow what has worked for everyone else?

First of all, it may now sound like every belief should be unique and adapted to you.

But that's not what I'm trying to say. Some beliefs are meant to be shared. And simple. Such as treating clients with respect, doing business in good faith, helping others. Sometimes, blending in is just as important as standing out.

But in business, blending in is quite the opposite of what you want. You don't want to be the same as everyone else. You don't want to be the last option, for you'll not exist for very long. You want to be a bit different, have a few unique beliefs, so that people notice you.

Because every now and then...

you'll come across these rare experiences. Sparked by an unconventional decision. Like going to an ad night when no one else is going. Slowly, these experiences turn into a beautiful realization: what is commonly believed doesn't work for me.

This is how unique beliefs are born.

Go to that network event when no one else is going. Jump left when everyone jumps right. Experiment with the tools that everyone else despises.

They might not all work, but some will stick.

What are your unique beliefs?